Being a student in 2020

I have just entered my third year studying English and Film at university, the year when shit gets real essentially. And I am living through a global pandemic, as someone who is a germaphobe/hypochondriac, needs to be around people to study well, and is also unemployed.

Yes I am also in an incredible high position of privelage in comparison to so many others, but I want too draw attention to the government’s disgusting lack of care towards young people during this crisis. When students suffer mentally from crises like this, the response is never to act after the disastrous incident has already happened, this should have taken place before. Students should have never been sent to university accommodation or flats as these crammed conditions are perfect for this virus to spread. Students are forced to pay ridiculous amounts for both tuition fees and rent whilst studying for a degree from a laptop/computer.

As someone who studies the arts, the government telling me that my degree is of no value whilst still studying for my degree, is very disheartening. The global situation has already left many people hopeless, unemployed and in vulnerable positions; to add onto that those in the arts have been told to “reskill” to have a more “valuable” job to contribute to a capitalist society. This way of thinking is quite frankly disgusting. The arts have so much value in our lives, and in my case it quite literally is my life.

Luckily I made the decision in 2018 to study from my childhood home instead of moving to extortionate student accomodation, however this unfortunately means I have little contact with my friends and classmates to discuss university classes and life in general. this makes my current life very isolating; as if I am back to square one in full lockdown. Many of my friends in shared student flats still feel very isolated and miss physically being in a lecture but they have a student atmosphere whereas I am in the same environment that I have been in since March. The highlight of my day has now become going for a walk or a rare overpriced coffee meet up. Although I recognise my position of privelage, it is still very mentally isolating. It is also very strange to suddenly be around people again and question what their perception is of you after so many months indoors, self reflecting. This makes even meeting up with old friends simultaneously exciting and nerve wracking.

With the majority of hospitality closed in Glasgow and Edinburgh, it is harder to see friends to catch up and wind down from the stress of online learning. Online learning has also had it’s impact on many students. The majority of people I have spoken to studying for college/university online have a passionate hatred for online classes, as do I. Without a scheduled, physical lecture and tutorial, it is very hard to get into the learning mind set. Essentially all universities have asked students to teach themselves the course with bad communication and unclear instructions. This all sounds like a rant against the universities, but the effort to look after students both academically and mentally simply is not there.

I would encourage students and young people to speak up about these issues as we will soon be running the world that idiotic politicians have been ruining for us and blaming us for. Don’t take any shit from adults who say we are the “spoilt, complaining” generation; prove them wrong.

lost blood

You wanted me to be something I am not

A little less, a little more, I am not sure

You fell in love with your perfect girl

But I am not her anymore

In fact I am so much more

You saw me as a goal, a prize, an idea

When I became too complex you threw that idea away

No longer your subservient angel in the house

I have burned my wings and learnt to stand

Becoming uninterested in your previous lover

You found interest in the idea of another

Only to discover she was more than you bargained for

God forbid a woman has her own thoughts and feelings

God forbid I became what you did not want

God forbid I cry when you hurt me

You twisted your words in ways that made me apologise for the wounds you caused

You watched my body bleed

And I stayed

In your helpless arms

Scars

There are scars on my face that were not there before

a scar from the night I felt another’s lips

a constellation hidden in plain sight

perhaps i deserved those ones

new freckles blossom that you never witnessed

only in summer when they met your sweet kisses

but winter turned them harsh and bitter

your lips no longer soft, but those of a sinner

places on my skin, tainted by another lover in liquor filled nights

he screamed perfection with every touch

but I cannot replicate your kiss

and I know your lips are not mine to miss

Joker Review

5/5

Todd Phillips’ ‘Joker’ portrays the more human and less villainous backstory of the ‘Joker. With clear references to Scorsese’s Taxi Driver and seventies cinema, this takes on a whole new perspective of comic book cinema.

Philips portrays Joker as one of society’s ‘outcasts’ as clichéd and overused as the term may be, the audience really does see a whole new side of the Joker rather than the simplicity of the ‘bad guy’. Arthur Fleck lives with his mother within the chaos and increasing poverty of Gotham, trying his best to become a stand up comedian but is constantly beat down, sometimes literally, which is when things take a turn for the worse.

Arthur is not taken seriously by anyone in Gotham city, not by his employer, not by Murray Franklin, and certainly not by the people who fund social services.

‘All I have are negative thoughts. But you don’t listen.’ Joker, 2019 https://www.moviequotesandmore.com/joker-best-movie-quotes/

Arthur’s counselor tells him the city is cutting funding for social workers, a key moment emphasizing the rich taking what they want from the poor and characters like Thomas Wayne representing “a man of the people” despite taking away basic mental health resources hence making a clear statement that Arthur is not taking his medication.

I am aware that the film received criticism for romanticising or idealising psychotic behaviour or mental health issues. I would argue that this is definitely not the case as stated previously, Arthur was not taking his prescribed drugs due to funding cuts. This is the main theme of the film, a man deprived of prescription medication for his mental health condition because of the selfishness of the rich. I have linked Mark Kermode’s review explaining “woke culture”. https://www.theguardian.com/film/2019/oct/06/joker-review-joaquin-phoenix-ace-turn

In no way does Joker romanticise mental illness or psychosis, nor does it justify his actions. Joker is a human story of a man beaten down by society. I really like the use of the title ‘Joker’ and not ‘The Joker’ as he is commonly referred to, this humanises him as the film does and simply tells his story through wonderful cinematography and the style of seventies film. This could perhaps redefine comic book cinema as more than just general comic book action. Joaquin phoenix gives an outstanding leading performance that deserves an Oscar nomination.

Another

My lips have lost their subject

Their words no longer meaningful or beautiful

But cruel and cold

And craving for another lover

Screaming words of pain and disgust

I long for your sweet embrace

Your soft kiss on my lips

But I fear you’ll never taste the same

That the love is truly gone

I pray that you’ll somehow see

The light you first saw in me

Perhaps that light has burned out now

Ready for another’s match

Review: Puzzle

Edinburgh’s International Film Festival opened with Marc Turtletaub’s ‘Puzzle’.

A touching story about a stay at home mother who finds a hidden talent in puzzles. Throughout the film, Kelly Macdonald’s character ‘Agnes’ finds her own independence away from her closed off family life.

 

The character of Agnes is first introduced hosting a party, which the audience assumes is for her husband as she cleans up after everyone and brings her own cake in. Her life at first is contained within the house, looking after her husband and two sons. The first part of the film seems as if it is set in the 50’s or 60’s as the style of the house is very simplistic and old fashioned which could represent how Agnes has not fully lived her life as she is stuck in the past in the house she grew up in. There is a theme of repetition and order in Agnes’ life, foreshadowing her hidden talent for jigsaw puzzles.

 

Soon after taking an interest in puzzles, she ventures to New York and finds a ‘puzzle partner’ to take part in a puzzle competition. This brings a vast change in Agnes’ life as she begins to find what she enjoys but struggles to tell her family what she is doing. The film explores family relationships and new beginnings in an intriguing way.

 

Kelly MacDonald has an outstanding performance however some of the other characters lacked character development as the film was focused on the development of Agnes’ character. The plot was well developed and told a story of finding independence within yourself.

Review: Brooklyn

A beautiful story of love and loss, Saoirse Ronan’s acting stands out boldly in the role of Eilis as an Irish immigrant looking for work in America to support her family. Through tragic ends and new beginnings, Eilis goes from a young, innocent daughter to a New York woman.

 

As Eilis is forced to find work in America in the early 50s, she struggles to leave behind her home in Ireland. Eilis struggles living in the big city of New York and suffers terribly with homesickness. As she slowly but surely settles into American dream, Eilis meets an Italian/American man who she soon marries and is ready to settle down with. Everything seems to be falling into place, along with her successful job, up until a tragic event forces her to return to her hometown in Ireland. Eilis is suddenly reminded of the comforts of home as she returns. Once again everything seems to fall into place back at home as she is given a job and is welcomed back with open arms by old friends and family.

 

Eilis has to choose between her home and everything she has missed for so long, or her new blossoming life in the big city of New York. A whole new perspective on a coming of age film.

Poems for losing you

 

You kissed me with all the fire in your body

Did it burn out?

My body was a work of art, a pristine canvas

You messed it up with your surrealism

 

You told me I had the body of an angel

With the mind of a devil, luring you in with lust

From the moment our lips touched I knew it was real

Now all those songs we listened to are tainted by your kiss

 

There’s an empty space where you used to hold me

It kills me to think that you could fill that void so easily

My city is haunted by the ghost of our love

Every street has a dark and wonderful memory

 

When I saw you, your eyes weren’t the same

No longer filled with love or lust

Two beautiful ice cold voids of a stranger

It hurt like hell when you hugged me and I felt nothing

Review: Loveless

Director ‘Andrei Zvyagintsev’ creates a haunting and real portrayal of a deeply damaged and failing marriage in ‘Loveless’. A couple breaking up struggle to barely keep up a conversation about their divorce and act in almost childlike fashion, as they can’t even see how damaging it has become to their child.

 

The movie portrays the daily life of the adults who are so obsessed with their idea of a “perfect” life that they fail to pay attention to their own son. The twisted selfish nature of humans is explored through the couple as they try and find their missing son after he goes missing due to their ignorance. The mother continues to ignore her son, as she is constantly caring about only herself and her new relationship as she fails to face up to reality. The father only cares about his reputation and his work. The film maintains a constant tension as if something is about to happen throughout the film, even during the look into the parent’s lives.

 

There is an awkward and tense atmosphere when the audience sees what their lives are like. Their new relationships are what they aspire to have, and are portrayed in an atmosphere almost like a horror movie, putting the audience constantly on edge. The film focuses on the self-obsessive parents and their fake happiness.

 

This film is definitely worth seeing and deserves the Oscar nomination for best foreign film.